racing to the red light

Today’s Friday Funny comes to us courtesy a rather active Reddit thread, first seen over at BoingBoing actually, regarding “what are some of the dumbest customer interactions you’ve ever had?”

Reddit user neric05 recently posted this gem of a customer service story:

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Yesterday while I was helping out in Best Buy, a woman approached me with a pink plastic phone case asking how many txt messages it could store in an inbox….

I said she needed to have a cell phone for that. She clearly did not understand.

After about 10 minutes of trying to explain that the case was solely for style/protective purposes, I sent her over to the phone department and let them deal with her for the next HOUR.

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Another one from user T3rkish:

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When I was working internet tech support, I had a customer call us up because his net wasn’t working. He said he hooked everything up but “the damn thing just won’t let me email”.

He then said “the cable you sent me was too damn big”. I told him that shouldn’t be the case, and he said he had to re-size it to make it fit into his computer. After a little more questioning, I found out he just took the box that had his network card, his modem and most importantly that cd with a huge red sticker on it that says “RUN THIS FIRST BEFORE SETTING UP EQUIPMENT”, and chucked all that stuff aside. He then took out the ethernet cable, tried to plug it into his 56k modem, when it didn’t fit he took a knife and carved it down to make it fit.

I just kind of sat there as he was furious because his service didn’t work and we sent him useless equipment. When he finally let me get a word in, I told him he was supposed to run the cd and use all of that other equipment. He said he didn’t want the service anymore and told us to cancel it, but I told him he signed a contract and I could setup an appointment for him for a technician to come out. He wasn’t interested.

I hated that job sometimes.

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Some of the comments are the best parts. Here’s one from a story that someone shared about how as a waiter at an IHOP restaurant, they had to explain to a diner that they can’t have neverending pancakes to go:

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Comment #1 (mfball): A lot of buffets do let you get takeout though, they just sell it by the pound. IHOP should invent a dish called Pounds of Pancakes and then people could get them to go because they’d just charge by the pound.

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Response to that comment:

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(happythoughts413): Please contact IHOP with this idea; I need it in my life

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Some other choice bits:

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I worked at a Stop and Shop in the produce department part time for a few years. There was a kid in there named Bobby who sold drugs but had a really good sense of humor.

One day we get a call from a customer saying she found a spider in her grapes. He handles it properly and explains that sometimes bugs do come in on the fruit and that he was sorry that happened. She however says that she’s bringing it in so we can test whether it’s poisonous or not. Problem is, we don’t do that. It’s a bug. Kill it.

She comes in 45 minutes later with this spider in a tupperware container and starts asking me what we’re going to do with it. As I’m backpedaling my way through the conversation Bobby walks up saying “OH YOU’RE THE SPIDER LADY!” He grabs the container and notes how big the spider is which freaks her out a little bit. She asks him what we are going to do with it and with the most serious tone on he just says “Probably going to shake him up and see if he’ll fight the other ones we have out back.” Then he just walks away. Lady went apeshit on me. I lol’d. Thats it.

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Working in Hotels I have meet quite a few dim bulbs.

One night a woman stormed into the lobby screaming about how our parking garage did not have enough clearance for her jacked up hummer. I explained that there is uncovered parking across the street, and if her Hummer did not fit in the garage, she could park there. She got irate about how it was unsafe and demanded I (this is a direct quote) “Go outside and raise the parking structure with a stick or something”. I politely explained that was physically impossible for me to do, and she said “Well, then you shouldn’t be working with people!”

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….To which one reader suggested:

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You should have followed her outside got a broom and “tried” to lift the building. Just say… “Can you fit the car now?” She’d say no then try even harder “HERRRBOUT NAOWW??” Make a sad face and walk away defeated.