Today I’ll be adding to my earlier post regarding my asshole doctor calling me fat.
It turns out that Americans didn’t used to be the gluttonous bunch of fat-asses that we are today; in fact, there used to be products that purported to enable you to gain weight:
All this fat talk reminded me of perhaps the best web page ever created on God’s green Internet: FATMOUSE
A couple of things to note about FATMOUSE – he is the superlative. He is the king. And dammit, he will rock your world.
FATMOUSE is full of choice quotes, like this one:
FATMOUSE IS COMING AND HE HAS A MESSAGE AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT. FATMOUSE WILL CONSUME YOUR POOR THIN WORLD AND REGURGITATE IT IN HIS OWN IMAGE. FATMOUSE DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU AND HE DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MEAGRE HOPES AND DREAMS. IT IS BETTER TO WALK WITH FATMOUSE THAN TO BE IN HIS PATH, FOR FATMOUSE MUST FEED.
racing to the red light 